


Heart Hurts So Good

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: IMPLIED LESBIAN!BEV, M/M, and teenage boys kissing, boys being stupid about their feelings, have fun, theres just some cussing, theres no warnings, yeah thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 08:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12884424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Eddie takes a breath, inhaling deeply, and breathing out slowly. No, he doesn’t think he knows what love is. He can feel it. It’s ignited in him, all throughout his body. Nobody has ever made him feel what Eddie feels just by looking at Richie.





	Heart Hurts So Good

**Author's Note:**

> https://open.spotify.com/user/1242147397/playlist/0y04o74wF2CWjMxCRm9Eeb
> 
> ^^^ Playlist that helped me write this
> 
> also, thanks to rose and chelsea for being my betas <3

Eddie doesn’t remember the first time he felt like he was floating. Or, falling, maybe. He doesn’t know when his heart started leaping out of his chest, or when his eyes started to linger longer on a  _ certain boy _ . Hell, he can’t even remember when he started liking boys and stopped liking girls. 

He supposes that it could’ve started years ago; when Richie started slinging an arm over his shoulder, or the way he began smiling at him, or the way Eddie developed a habit of always gravitating to him no matter where they were or who they were with. 

Eddie’s not too sure about this whole  _ ‘feeling’ _ thing. Whatever it is, at least. He tries to push his feelings away, tries to bury it and hide it. He knows it gets increasingly harder with every look Richie gives him. Maybe it’s not just a feeling, maybe Richie is just the one that reminded him of what’s always been ignited inside of him. It gets harder, and Eddie knows it.

* * *

 

They’re all sitting at the lunch table, a Friday afternoon. Richie is sat across from Eddie and he hates it. Hates that he can just look up and see his pretty fucking face. He knows that he’s being way too passive aggressive about it, but he can’t help but stab his macaroni with his plastic fork the more he thinks about how fucking _ beautiful _ his best friend is and how he shouldn’t even be _ thinking _ that.

“You okay there, Eddie?” Stan touches his arm carefully.

“Fan-fuckin-tastic,” Eddie grumbles and shoves the food into his mouth. “This macaroni is good as fuck.” 

Stan blinks, because, _ okay then.. _

Eddie nearly chokes when he looks up once more, seeing Richie, with what looks like a smirk plastered on his lips.

“ _ So... _ ” Mike speaks loudly, trying to clear the tension, “What’s on the agenda for the day? I was thinking we could have a boys night. Order some pizza, watch some movies, play poker..?”

“Yeah that sounds awesome. It seems...” Ben looks at Eddie. “Well needed.”

Bill sees this and chuckles, “Yeah, i-it does, doesn’t it? I’ll b-bring alcohol.”

Bev sighs, “Why do you guys have to have a boys night? Because then I’m stuck at home with nothing to do and nobody to-” 

“-do?”

“Richie Tozier I will rip your fuckin’ dick off.”

“Kinky.”

Beverly rolls her eyes, “and nobody to hang out with.”

“What about Jane?” Eddie questions, “You guys have been hanging out a lot in gym, aren’t you friends?”

She goes to speak but Stan beats her to it, “Yeah, sure. They’re  _ friends.” _

“What is this, ‘pick on Bev’ day?” Bev huffs,”Yes, Eddie. Jane and I are friends...”

“Ask her to hang out then.” Eddie shrugs.

“Yeah, we don’t want you to miss out on too much fun.” Richie says, a suggestive tone in his words, “I’m sure Jane would really like that.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll ask her to hang out.”

“Great! Now we all have plans tonight.” Ben says, smiling at his friends.

Eddie returns it, weakly. He does NOT want to be any physically closer to Richie than he is right now, and if he goes to Mike’s, he’s just going to be glued to him, and he knows this. Is he still going to go, though? Yes. Is he going to act like a love-sick puppy the entire time? Probably. 

Eddie shows up to Mike’s house later that night, a bottle of wine in hand. He shoves it into Mike’s hands when he opens the door. Eddie slides past him and ignores the weird look that his friend gives him. 

“Ayyyy it’s Eds Spagheds!” Richie greets him with a smile and wraps an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie instinctively reaches up to grab his hand, despite that, throwing a warning look at Richie.

“I know, I know, don’t call you that.” 

Eddie smiles at this.

“Alright boys,” Richie lets go of Eddie and claps his hands together, “What’s first? Poker? Movies?”

Everyone collectively agrees on poker. 

An hour and a half into the game, they’ve all got alcohol in them. Ben, Bill, and Stan all on the more ‘tipsy’ side. Mike, Eddie, and Richie all nearly pissed drunk.

Richie starts being more touchy with everyone, particularly Eddie. He’s got a hand in Eddie’s hair, an arm around his middle, and every once in awhile he’ll throw his face into his neck.

Eddie can’t _ stand it. _ He can’t stand all of this touching. Not that he doesn’t love it, because he does, it’s just that he knows it’s all due to Richie being drunk. Eddie might be drunk too, but he’s touchy with the other boy because he  _ likes _ him. He’s just a friend to Richie, and it makes his heart hurt even more, especially when he feels the taller boy’s lips graze against his ear when he laughs at something Ben had said. The second he feels it, shivers flow all the way down his back and down to his feet.

Eddie thinks in that moment, he thinks he know what love is.

* * *

 

In the morning, Eddie blinks away the sleep. He stretches, trying to sit up, but feels something heavy over his chest. Eddie looks down and sees Richie’s arm draped over him. He removes it carefully, trying not to wake him. Everyone around him is snoring away, still sleeping off their hangovers and he wishes he could stay there with his friends, but he knows if he’s not home at an early enough time, his mother will never let him hear the end of it.

Eddie bikes home as fast as he can, holding his thigh at the pocket of his sweatpants so his phone doesn’t fall out.

When he gets in the driveway of his house, Eddie wheels his bike to the garage, not bothering to put it inside. He digs out his key from his other pocket and begins to approach the front door. Before he can put the key in the slot, the door is yanked open and an angry Sonia Kaspbrak stands before him.

“Do you know how much trouble you’re in?” Sonia puts her hands on her hips.

“Mom- I- I was just at Mike’s, I stayed the night-” 

“I said you could hang out, I didn’t say you could spend the night.” Sonia sighs, “come on, get inside.”

Eddie complies and opens his mouth to apologize.

Sonia grabs her son’s arm the moment he rushes past her, “Edward Kaspbrak, do I smell alcohol on you?”

Eddie’s eyes widen, “N-No mom, of course not, I-” He stops speaking and leans back when his mother crowds his space, sniffing his shirt intensely.

“Don’t lie to me.”

The silence between them is enough for Sonia to receive her answer and she pushes Eddie into the house.

“Give me your phone.”

“What?”

“I said give me your phone.” Sonia slams the door behind her and holds her hand out, motioning for him to hand it over.

“Mom, you can’t do that, I have track and school and-”

“You will come straight home all this week and you will not leave the house for the rest of this weekend, do you understand?”

“Yes, mom..”

“I’m not doing this to irritate or to push your buttons, Eddie. You know how I worry, okay? I’m doing this as a punishment. You’re only seventeen and you were drinking! Do you know how dangerous that is? Underage drinking?”   


“I’m sorry.”

Sonia shakes her head, “I’m very disappointed in you. Go to your room. I’ll call you down when dinner is ready.”

Eddie nods and goes to his room without another word. 

* * *

 

Eddie falls asleep, sleeping through nearly the whole day, but he’s woken up when he hears a knock at his door. 

“Eddie-Bear? Are you awake?”

The door opens slowly and Eddie sits up, “Yeah, m’awake.”

“Dinner’s ready, sweetie.”

Sonia retreats downstairs and waits until Eddie comes down too, before she starts eating.

Eddie picks up his fork, about to dig in, but his mom stops him.

“You know we pray first, Eddie.”

Eddie nearly has to force himself not to roll his eyes. He doesn’t think he’s that religious. At all, maybe.

When she bows her head and begins to pray, Eddie doesn’t move, doesn’t close his eyes, like his mother.

“Amen,” She speaks suddenly.

“Amen.”

They eat in silence, not speaking. The two usually don’t speak as much anymore, not like they used to. 

The house phone rings suddenly, and Eddie jumps up to get it, but she gives him a look. He watches his mother walk over to it, picking it up, and placing it to her ear.

“Hello?”

Eddie nearly stops himself from breathing to try to hear who it is.

“Yes, he’s here...” Sonia pauses and sighs. “Eddie, come talk to your  _ friend.”  _ She practically spits out the last word. He assumes it’s Richie from her tone of voice. He pushes his chair out, scrambling to take the phone out from Sonia’s hands. He doesn’t speak until she sits back down.

“Hello?” Eddie says.

“Hey,” Richie’s voice rings through. “Are you avoiding me?”

“Unintentionally.”  _ Maybe it’s a good thing, though. _

“What do you mean by that?”

“My mom took away my phone.” Eddie purses his lips. “Why?”

“Nothing, Mike just mentioned that...” Richie trails off.

“What is it?”

“Nevermind. I just… is your window gonna be open tonight?”

Eddie smiles to himself, quickly dropping it before his mom can see, “Of course. It always is.”

“Okay. I’ll be up later.”

Eddie lowers his voice, “I’ll be awake.”

The line goes silent and Eddie speaks again, “Are you still there?”

“Yeah.”

“You sound off, are you okay?”

_ Mike just mentioned that...  _

“Yeah...don’t worry your pretty little head, Eds. I’ll be up later tonight, okay?”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“See you then, Spaghetti.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Bye, Rich.”

Sonia watches her son hang up and sit back down, “What did he want?”

“Richie? Um,” Eddie stuffs his mouth with food, “Science Project.”

“Okay.”

* * *

 

Eddie goes to his room fifteen minutes after he’s done eating, making sure he doesn’t seem eager to leave his mother. (He is.)

He counts down the hours, knowing Richie won’t come until midnight, just in case Sonia is still awake. She never hears him come through the window, anyway.

When one o’clock in the morning hits, Eddie watches his window expectantly. After a few minutes, he sees a mop of curls poke through the curtains, and a smile plays on his lips.

“Miss me?” Richie asks, laughing at the sight of Eddie’s face.

“You wish.” Eddie pats the space next to him, a feeling of content spreading through him when Richie lies next to him.

“You got grounded?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, “She smelled the alcohol on me almost immediately.” 

“Little does she know, all of us could come see you this entire week and she would never know.” Richie laughs and turns on his side to face Eddie.

Eddie’s breath hitches when his eyes meet the other boy’s. 

Another feeling erupts in his chest. It overwhelms him, yet completes him. He feels so free but it’s like his chest is almost constricting itself, cutting off his oxygen. Eddie thinks its funny how someone could go from being a stranger, to becoming a friend, then a best friend, and yet in the end, it never ends like that-- meeting someone that he automatically became attached to the hip with, and expecting him to just see him as a friend, a  _ best friend,  _ and only a best friend.

Who is he kidding? Definitely not himself. He’s completely infatuated with Richie, and he doesn’t know how he lived without him for the first ten years of his life. Eddie feels like Richie is the first chaotic thing that happened to him. He disrupted the stilled and stabilized life Mrs. Kaspbrak was trying to get Eddie to have. 

Eddie takes a breath, inhaling deeply, and breathing out slowly. No, he doesn’t  _ think  _ he knows what love is. He can feel it. It’s ignited in him, all throughout his body. Nobody has ever made him feel what Eddie feels just by  _ looking  _ at Richie. 

“What’re you staring at?” Richie questions, shaking Eddie from his thoughts. 

“You,” Eddie says, feeling suddenly confident despite his cheeks reddening.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Richie reaches over and tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear. Eddie grabs his hand, and he audibly chokes. “Oh my god,” he says. He can feel the tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Eds?” Richie touches his cheek, thumbing down his jawline.

“I-I think.. I think you’re  _ the one.”  _

Richie blinks at him, saying nothing for an entire minute, and Eddie thinks he’s going to go insane if he doesn’t soon.

“Rich.. Say someth-”

Eddie doesn’t like being cut off. And he’s always  _ hated  _ it. However, he’s not minding it much. No, not when what’s interrupting him is Richie’s lips pressing against his. 

Eddie is crying, and he’s not meaning to, but he can’t help it. The love of his life is kissing him hard and slow and it’s everything he’s ever wanted.

“Eddie,” Richie laughs against his lips, “I’m so, so in love with you.”

“God,” Eddie shakes his head, “Look at us- we’re a  _ mess.” _

They laugh into each other’s mouths, kissing each other harder than the first time.

“We’re not a mess,” Richie disagrees, “We might be stupid, but not a mess.”

Eddie nods, his nose bumping against the older boy’s. “I don’t know how I’ve gone seventeen years without kissing you.” He doesn’t, really. His need to be kissing Richie is like needing oxygen to breathe.

“You don’t have to wonder any longer,” Richie places his lips on Eddie’s again, holding his face in his hands. He moves one hand to Eddie’s leg, pulling it over his waist, the need to be  _ closer  _ getting stronger and stronger.

They kiss for hours, it seems. Their lips bruised, along with both of their necks and chests. It’s all they need in the moment, and Eddie thinks it’s all he’ll ever need.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have to wonder again.” 

**Author's Note:**

> richietoaster.tumblr.com


End file.
